


Before the Dawn

by LibraryMage



Series: Ktavnukkah 5779 [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Ktavnukkah, Post-Episode: s02e11 Legacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 09:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16830172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraryMage/pseuds/LibraryMage
Summary: Ezra was sure he'd get to see his parents again.(written for the Ktavnukkah prompt "morning")





	Before the Dawn

“Moons are setting.”

Ezra looked back over his shoulder to see Kanan behind him, and immediately averted his gaze so he didn’t have to see the look on his master’s face. It was pity that stabbed at him like a needle being driven into his skin and deep, aching love that he pushed away and tried to shut out. He didn’t want it; not from Kanan. He just wanted his mom and dad.

“It’ll be morning soon,” Kanan said as he closed the distance between them.

Ezra hugged his arms around himself as he felt Kanan’s gentle nudge at his mind, not trying to push his way in, but softly reminding Ezra of his presence in the Force.

“I saw them,” Ezra said, his voice breaking as a hard lump formed in his throat, tears threatening to well up in his eyes again. “I saw my parents. They were right here. I can't explain how.”

Kanan hesitated as he put his hand on Ezra’s shoulder, as if afraid Ezra would pull away. Ezra almost wanted to. He didn’t want to let himself be comforted by Kanan, as if Kanan could take his parents’ place. But he found himself leaning into Kanan’s touch, leaning against his side as Kanan’s arm slid all the way across his shoulders.

“The Jedi teach that life doesn’t cease at death,” Kanan said, his arm drawing tight around Ezra. “Your parents are alive inside you, Ezra. They will be. Always.”

The lump in Ezra’s throat grew larger, like something had closed around his neck, choking him. His eyes stung as fresh tears began to form. He tried to blink them away. He didn’t want to cry anymore. It just made that pounding ache in his chest feel so much worse. But slowly, the tears began sliding down his cheeks again as a heavy sob forced its way out of his throat.

“I was so sure,” he said. “I thought I was going to see them again. I thought --”

His voice broke off. He couldn’t form the words anymore. That strangling tightness in his throat wouldn’t let him. His breath came in short, sharp gasps that felt like something was hitting him in the ribs as he desperately tried to draw in air.

Something warm and solid surrounded him as he let himself be pulled forward against Kanan’s chest, Kanan’s arms closing around him and holding him tightly.

“I know,” Kanan said, one hand stroking Ezra’s hair as Ezra buried his face in his master’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Ezra.”

“It isn’t fair.” The words came out as a quiet, high-pitched squeak that barely made it past the block in Ezra’s throat. His parents had worked so hard to help other people, to bring them hope, and _this_ was what they got for it. He’d spent nine years thinking they were dead, and he had hope that they weren’t dangled in front of him just to be snatched away.

“I--I’m sorry,” he said, sliding his arms around Kanan’s chest and clinging to him tightly.

“For what?” Kanan asked, his voice soft, like he thought Ezra would shatter if he spoke any louder.

“Y--you tried to warn me,” Ezra said, barely able to get the words out. “I d--I didn’t listen.”

“You wanted to see your parents again,” Kanan said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

For reasons he couldn’t understand, hearing that only made Ezra cry harder as the tightness in his throat grew stronger, cutting off all chances of saying another word. He leaned into Kanan’s embrace, practically letting Kanan hold him up as he shook under the weight of his own tears.

Ezra didn’t even notice as the darkness of the sky faded to a pale blue and the bright orange tendrils of sunlight began to break through.


End file.
